Not Me Monday

This is a blog carnival I am participating in because it's fun. Here, on Mondays we get to divulge all of the things we did not do in the past week. We rejoice in our clean slate & the brand new mistake-less week ahead of us & get to entertain our blog readers. Head on over to MckMama's site for some more UNconfessions.

I did not spend an inordinate amount of time last week looking for Arawen's one and only pacifier. I am not a one-pacifier mom because my child's attachment to that little plug is growing & I would not risk the hours of distress this could cause her if I happened to not be able to find it. I did not, knowing full well the growing attachment, totally procrastinate going to Target & buying more. Target is definitely NOT just 2 miles from my house.

I did not let Jaycee get into 3 decks of cards at once. Our floor was not covered in playing cards after she was done. This most certainly did not happen almost every day this past week with my full knowledge. It also is NOT happening right now, as I type my "Not Me Monday."

I did not get out to run errands with my 2 girls in tow for the first time since Arawen was born. Arawen is definitely not 10 weeks old today. The errands I ran did NOT take me all day and I did NOT forget to bring A's one-and-only pacifier! I did not feed Jaycee solely granola bars and a free cookie from Schnucks for lunch that day. Jaycee did not drop said cookie on the ground. While we were getting everything together, out of the van, and into a cart, a fellow shopper did not sit in the parking lot waiting for us to get out of the adjacent parking space. I did NOT stand there & wait for her to park, watching to make sure she didn't run over the cookie. I also most certainly did NOT wait for her to get out & walk into the store, look surreptitiously around, & proceed to quickly pick up the cookie, blow it off & give it back to Jaycee!!! THAT would be gross.

At our last stop to Target, I did not discover that, although visiting public restrooms is one of J's favorite things to do, she had pooped her pants. I did not, after like a second of deliberation, decide she could live with it. We did NOT spend our whole Target trip with a putrid aroma hanging over us. THAT also would be gross.

While giving Jaycee a bath, I did not leave her there to play with the bathroom door open so I could still hear her. After playing for a little bit, my child did not get herself out of the tub & walk up to me dripping wet with blood pouring from her finger. When I ran over and asked what had happened, she did not stare at me sweetly & repeat perfectly, "Happen." I did NOT discover to my horror that I had left my razor within her reach!! I absolutely, positively did NOT promptly receive the "Worst Mom of the Year" award!!! Jaycee did not walk around proudly displaying her bandaid without so much as a whimper. I am not kind of afraid at how hard we are going to have to discipline a child with such a high pain tolerance.

Well, this has not been super fun, & maybe even slightly therapeutic for me. I did not read over this and laugh really hard. I also did not update my blog last week just so I could do this today. I am not done already.