Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Ninety-seven hours since launch date and the number up by the orange heart reads "2237." That's about 2.6 0.4 visits per minute. (edited with the correct number because I know my dad reads this and he'll notice. my math skills are very fallible.) If this wasn't about my husband with a terminal disease, I'd feel like a celebrity.
It's actually not that accurate. By the time I was done setting this up, adding the first entry, and editing the guestbook, the number was 6. But hey, it errs on the generous side, and if it makes us feel good, I'm not going to complain.

Thank you dearly for all of your entries in the guestbook. We read them all. I especially especially love it when people say they are praying; preferably along with words like "often" and "constantly." I was just advised by a dear friend to be patient with the people that say things, but don't say the right thing. Not everybody will say what I need or want to hear, so I am to be aware, be prepared, and purpose in my heart to handle the situation in a Christ-like manner. I was thankful for the advice. It sounds so easy.

To you, my readers, here are my thoughts on words of encouragement- and please do not let this in any way hinder you from signing the guestbook. As stated, we read them all. We appreciate them all. I'm somewhat of a pragmatist. I also firmly believe in the power of prayer. If I hear that you're thinking of me- that's nice, but if the thought doesn't turn into a petition at the Throne, it doesn't accomplish anything for me. Nonproductive. It doesn't even encourage me. Because the last thing I need is more thoughts about me. I have plenty of those all on my own.

We need prayer. I know this like I know the ache in the back of my heart. And that's the most you can do for us. It might be the least you can do in your mind, but in my mind, it's the most. Spending your valuable time standing in the gap for us and petitioning for a miracle of healing at the feet of our Heavenly Father is an awesome gift. From the bottom of our hearts, Thank you.

I struggled with starting this site. It seemed somewhat sappy and morbid and sad. CaringBridge is for people that are curious about people that are dying. The only people I've heard of associated with CaringBridge are now dead. I had a conversation with my mom when I was wrestling with the idea. Why? Is it because they want to know all the details? Isn't it enough to know that it's horrible and crippling and deadly? Is it because everybody dies, and seeing how someone they know (or kind of know) approaches death is intriguing? We'll all be there someday, so we want to ponder the journey of someone else? Sad events are big news. Everybody likes a good news story. Solomon said it is better to enter the house of mourning than the house of mirth, but I always thought people would choose SixFlags over a funeral any day. Is it cleansing, good for the soul, therapeutic to enter into the grief of another? Maybe it takes our attention off of ourselves. Maybe it helps add perspective to the day-to-day annoyances, irritations, and big decisions that really aren't that critical when the eternity of souls and the realness of pain are a little more forefront in our thinking. I'm probably biased, but when it's someone as young, handsome, strong, and amazing as Jordan, it just makes it that much more tragic. He's 24. He has a young wife and 2 beautiful girls to provide for; he has so much life to live. What is it that makes that orange number leap up every time I check? I don't know. I do know, however, that I used to go to Tyson Aschliman's blog. I'd cry every time, and then I'd pray for him and Leslie and TJ. ...and sometimes I wouldn't.

So, I write. Because if we stay on your minds, we may stay in your prayers. I update not because you need to know, but because we want you to know how to pray. If you care enough to come, you're more likely to care enough to pray. I've surprised myself with how often I've updated already. But that number is so beckoning. If i've got an audience, I've got a piece of your attention, and I just may get a piece of your intercession. I also put the photo in the entry every time because I appreciate the entertainment value of looking at pictures and I'm trying to take advantage of the advertisement factor of putting a picture into your head. More memorable.

It's all very selfish, really. But nobody blames a drowning man for scrambling for the lifejacket.

2 comments:

Luke said...

soli deo gloria

He WILL be magnified.

We love you and are praying for you.

JAE said...

Know that I too am interceding for you before the Throne. We may not understand the means, but we know the end.....God WILL BE GLORIFIED!

I'm praying that you will come to a more intimate knowledge of HIM through all this.