Monday, July 26, 2010

-I'm going to a better place.

-Is that okay with you, Baby?

-Yeah; it's what Jesus wants.

I want this to be a revival. And not just for the people in this room. For everyone.
-Jordan, 7.24.10

Revival Service.

In memory of Jordan Schroeder.

In honor of Jesus Christ.

Northwoods Community Church
Peoria, IL
Officiating: Jeff Thames and Jesse Schroeder
Wednesday, July 28th, 2010,
10:00 a.m.

Roanoke Apostolic Christian Fellowship Hall
Roanoke, IL
Tuesday, July 27th, 2010,
2-4 p.m. & 6-8 p.m.

Graveside service at Roanoke A.C. Church Cemetary

To God be the glory!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Thursday, July 22, 2010 7:33 PM, CDT

I'm just gonna say it, cause I was convicted about my own prayers for them: praying for peace and comfort can wait. pray for healing, and if u can't, pray for faith. we're the ones who want peace and comfort, cause watching our friends suffer is making us uncomfortable. jordan and katelyn haven't asked for peace and comfort yet-they want the miracle God has for them. press on.

This was the Facebook status of one of our tireless prayer warriors, Angie Luginbuhl.

All I have to say is, Amen.

The struggle is great, but the grace is greater. My heavenly Father keeps peering over this huge mountain down at me and says, "Look up, I'm bigger than this."

Jordan's a warrior and I am so, so thankful for this faithful man of God. He is expectantly waiting for God to show up. He will!

Again, please join in praying for a miracle tonight at 8. This is God's deal; but I have no problems as His child asking for what He does best.

We love you all!
Tonight! Healing prayer for Jordan Schroeder. Northwoods Community Church. Room G, in the basement. 8 - 9 p.m. EVERYONE WELCOME!!
Thursday, July 22, 2010 9:08 AM, CDT

Dear Everybody,

Please keep believing in a miracle from God for us. We believe it. Jordan's body is racked by a ferocious disease. His breathing is labored, his oxygen is intensive-care-unit worthy. We're getting do-not-resuscitate decisions shoved down our throat.

We just got done crying out to God together. Jordan huffed his way through "God, You get all the glory from my body right now!" We are binding in the name of Jesus Christ this disease and releasing his power and life over Jordan's body today.

Please join us today!

Love, Jordan & Katelyn, Jaycee & Arawen

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Tuesday, July 20, 2010 1:58 PM, CDT

To all of our warriors in the Army of Christ, thank you for fighting with us, for lifting our arms when we couldn't keep them raised ourselves. Thank you for continuing in prayer.

Although our mountain looms large, the face of Jesus is that on which we're fixing our gaze. HE is bigger than all of this!

Taped on the bathroom door wall in this hospital room is a to-do list. I crossed all the mundane things off and what remained I taped to the door:
-Look @ Jesus
-Desir​e glory
-Do not fear

Da​d's hospital church service on Jehoshaphat'​s story is the inspiration.​

Also, we had Jordan's prayer ministry course teacher in here on Sunday afternoon and part of her prayer over him is coming to mind and bringing comfort.
"Th​ank You Father that the prayers of your saints for Jordan are sweet fragrance before You and that they MATTER to you!"

We are hoping to come home from the hospital tonight. These past 4 days have basically been a trial period to see what Jordan needs for pain control. They've been brutal, but sustained by grace.

Pleas​e pray for complete, miraculous healing and that we would be able to come home!!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

A Battle Cry Call to Fasting and Prayer

Atten​tion! All Christian Soldiers and Prayer Warriors of Jesus Christ

The time has come the time is now!

Jordan & Katelyn have considered their medical treatment options with no hope of improvement or a cure against this enemy and agent of death, this ever growing cancer; and they have decided to move Jordan home and cry out to God, the only source of Miraculous Hope.

As you read on their last post, they have laid all their hopes and dreams on God’s altar. They also know that the only one who can stay the knife has already died so they can live forever in Him.
He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how will he not also along with him also freely give us all things. Romans 8:32

They are begging all God’s people to fast and pray to God for them beginning Monday July 19, 2010. Please pray that God would be merciful to Jordan and Katelyn as he was merciful to nearly dead Epaphroditu​s and Paul in Phillipians 2:27.

In preparation​, please consider what God did in the Bible and his amazing responses to fasting and prayer when his people were facing enemy, danger or death like Jehoshaphat in 2Chronicles
20:1-30, Hezekiah (2 Kings 20:1-11), Ezra (ch. 8:21-23), & Esther (ch.4:14-17​); and even his response to some wicked men who fasted and prayed like the King of Ninevah (Jonah:3:5​-10), & Ahab (1 Kings 21:20-29). See Isaiah 58 & Matthew 6:6-18 for further instruction​s.

Lastly remember the importance of fasting and prayer in healing the boy in Matthew 17:14-21 and don’t forget the words of Jesus,
This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting Mark 9:29

David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth. . . And he said, . . . I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? 2 Samuel 12:16,22

Tha​nking you in advance for your prayers!
Jor​dan and Katelyn’s Family & Friends

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Saturday, July 17, 2010 9:56 AM, CDT

When I am weak, then am I strong.
2 Cor 12:10

How do you operate in a Truth when everything you feel screams "False!" at you?

How do you know Jesus is here when he feels nonexistent​?

I have run out of prayers. The doctors have run out of hope.

Medica​lly, Jordan has been in an intense amount of pain for an extended amount of time. His body has been screaming at him for over a month. He's lost over 30 pounds in the last 2 months. We went straight to the ER from the airport. Not the original plan! We did get an epidural placed last night, and he's on high-dose pain meds, so there was a reprieve from the agony last night. This morning, he's still not entirely comfortable. We're at Methodist. On the oncology floor.
His cancer is "very advanced." His prognosis is "very poor."

I'm always on the verge of tears. I'm exhausted and can't think straight. I keep finding myself at the Throne of Jehovah. I don't really pray a whole lot, I just claim the blood of Jesus, stand before my God as redeemed, and make known my need for mercy.

For indeed he was sick nigh unto death: but God had mercy on him... Phil 2:27'

Just before we came home from Mexico, we were talking about dreams and the Giver of dreams. Promises and the PromiseKeep​er. Jordan prayed then, and he gave everything back to God. I watched my 25-year-old husband, father of 2, place his dreams on the altar. He laid them all down.

Watchi​ng his girls grow up. Teaching them about Jesus. Walking them down the aisle. Grow​ing old with his wife. Having a little boy. Growing a business with his buddy. Preaching the Word of God. Hunting. Building a house in the country one day...

He gave them all back to Jesus.

This morning, I was up early, and sobbing on the living room floor, I gave my dreams to Jesus. Being married to a better-than​-I-deserve ​man of God. Having my baby girls grow up with their daddy. Livi​ng in our new home. Having a little boy. Tropic​al family vacations. ​I gave Jordan to his Father. I left him at the altar.

And you know what? Through all the heartwrench​ing tears and heartache, we both left the Throneroom still extravagant​ly rich.

We still have Jesus. At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you. (John 14:20)

"When your hope is running dry
When your dreams have waved goodbye
Hold on
Hold on to Me"
(Stellar Kart- our favorite cd right now. I listened to this song over and over last night)

While we're learning a lot about surrenderin​g to God, we are still fight​ing a battle with the enemy. Coming soon: a battle cry call to fasting and prayer.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

It's been another one of those crazy weeks. After finding out the news from the CT scan of the lungs we started praying about and researching other clinics. With that many metastases on the lungs we know that my condition is extremely serious. Back in August they counted at least 16 spots on each lung but stopped counting because we were getting depressed. This time the pictures showed the same thing, if not more spots. They were all over. It has been extremely difficult dealing with that news but we have not lost hope.

Lookin​g back over this past year we have so blessed. I have been able to work, play, we bought a new house, I got a new job. MY quality of life up until recently has been pretty amazing. Thinking of what it would have been like with the original chemo regimen they had me on, I can't imagine what this past year would have been like. I probably would not have been able to work and probably would weigh about 140 pounds. We have been thankful for this past year. God has really blessed it.

We feel like we are in the same boat as a year ago but they said I may not even live 6 months. We are going to continue to fight and trust that God will still bring complete healing even though things seem to be getting worse. l have lost quite a bit of weight over the last few months. Please pray that I will get my appetite back and that I can stay nourished. Right now, I really need to concentrate on my diet and not feed the cancer. It is difficult, but I believe God can bless it and give me the discipline to eat the foods that will help my body the most. Katelyn has been great at supporting me in this and I am thankful for that. Pray for her perseveranc​e as well and that she could continue to encourage me in what I eat.

She has been absolutely amazing. If I had to sum it up I would say she has been a rock. The many times I would break into tears of severe pain she would always be there to comfort me and pray for me. She has been so willing to get me whatever I need and I am so in awe of the way she loves me. I keep telling her there is a giant mansion in Heaven waiting there just for what she has done on my behalf. Continue to lift her up in your prayers. It is very difficult for her to see me this way and I know she grows very weary at times. All I can say is thank you so much Jesus for the amazing wife of 4 years. I hope she will be my wife for another 70 years.

We have been looking into clinics in Atlanta, New York, and Texas. They all kind of have different approaches and each one sounds better when you are talking to someone over the phone about it. We talked to a doctor from Atlanta today and he said that sarcomas are very difficult to treat. They can respond very well to treatment and then mutate and find a way around it. We have been doing lots of thinking and praying and trying to decide where we should go next. We just feel like we are at the end of the road here at Rubio's and it's time for a change. No hard feelings. They have been so accommodati​ng and we are thankful for the treatment and the help they provided this past year.

We decided tonight that we are going to fly out of San Diego tomorrrow and head home for the weekend to be with family and friends. We will then decide where we will go from there. We may even stay home if we feel God leading us to trust in complete healing around home. We don't know for sure. We do look forward to being home, though.

They ended up doing a nerve block in my back tonight. They stuck a needle in my spine and gave me morphine and another med. They will send a pump or two home with us then so we can continue the doses. Each dose lasts about 30 hours. I feel better already. All week I have had nerve sensations that cause my left leg to be tight all the time. It is very uncomfortab​le and has made it very difficult to walk and sleep. It feels great to get some relief but we know that it is just a band aid right now, and is not fixing the underlying problem of the tumor in the pelvis. Hopefully, it will help the flight home be a little more enjoyable than the flight out.

So how can you pray for us? Pray for a safe trip home tomorrow. Pray for strength for me and recovery for me. Pray that we can be a light to those that we come into contact with this weekend. Pray that we can be re-energize​d with supernatura​l joy and hope this weekend as we have missed our family and friends so much. Pray for wisdom and discernment as we decide where to take the next step. Pray for God to be glorified no matter what the outcome is. Thanks for all your prayers.

We have had many dreams and visions as a family for our future. We have had people pray and prophesy incredible things into our lives. God has given us confirmatio​n that we will get through this. Katelyn made a great point this morning and said maybe we are putting all our hope in those dreams and not in the Dream Giver. I thought about that a lot today and I think she hit the nail on the head. God wants us to want Him and Him only. He wants our total focus and attention. ​ He says we will find him when we seek for Him with our whole hearts. Joseph had a dream. Things didn't quite go the way I think he thought they might after receiving the dream. Between the pit, Potiphar, prison, and the palace it says the Lord was with him. In the end, he was able to tell his brothers that the Lord meant it for good. It says the word of the Lord tried Joseph. Did he cling to his Lord, or to his dream? We want to cling to Jesus and trust that whatever his will is we are willing to do it. Thank you Lord for bringing that word through Katelyn. She is so right. Pray that we can forsake everything else and just cling to our Savior and in what he has in store for us.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, ... the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.
...What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?

I was by the pool with my Bible. There's been a lot of talk about Job recently around here. I figured it was a good thing to go back and re-read the book. I had just got to chapter 4, with the above passages having really spoken to me when Dr. Rubio approached me.

It was the last thing I wanted to hear. It was the worst news possible. The only remarkable thing was that I didn't dissolve into tears- then.

The cancer has taken over Jordan's lungs again. It's really bad.

I know I'm risking 'too personal' here, but I don't have the stamina to write an original post tonight. This is a portion of an e-mail to our family sent yesterday. It is our heart right now.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.

On Tuesday, we got to be ministered to by a brother in Christ that occasionally comes down to this clinic from Los Angeles. He's a minister/PhD in integrated medicine, very passionate about the Word and Spirit. It was truly a divine appointment; he prayed for us, prophesied into our lives and we had amazing fellowship in the Spirit! As we were praying, I remembered Jill's prayer request for breakthrough and it was a breakthrough into our discouragement and doubt. He spoke to us about unforgiveness and told us to ask God to reveal anything in the way of His throne, he challenged us to give our firstfruits to the Lord, including our time. He mentioned how coming into his presence with praise and thanksgiving is so key. We've been blessed to have had amazing, anointed prayer & worship time these past 2 mornings together. Confessing and forsaking sin, releasing those who have wronged us, thanking God for everything, even the hard things. Claiming promises in the name of Jesus, binding demonic influence and releasing hope, strength, life, peace, & miraculous healing. (Mat 16:19)

We're really learning a whole lot more than we ever wanted to about the truth of Ephesians 6, how we don't wrestle against flesh and blood but against principalities, powers, rulers of darkness, & spiritual wickedness. The battle down here has been intense, but, (also in Eph 6), we're well equipped for it. After that incredibly uplifting time of prayer with Mr. Warren, that night, Jordan was in so much pain, it hurt him when I crawled up on the bed. He could feel it in his leg and he was rocking back and forth on all fours crying out. Can anyone think of anything more discouraging and disheartening? That was the night he was supposed to go down to 2 fentanyl patches, but quite obviously, couldn't. I knew it was a satanic counterattack & we needed to pray, and we did.

God's really been changing our prayer language. Our spiritual eyes are slowly being opened and we're being given more confidence in the power & authority of the Spirit that indwells us. Jordan ended up having a fairly marginal night that night but he will testify that it was infused with something miraculous: a peace that passes understanding, a knowledge of the fact the God in him was enabling him to get through the discomfort. He was aware of his body's groanings, but he was MORE aware of the divine peace that rested on him throughout the entire night, getting him through. Praise God!

We also got to talk on the phone with both Mom & Dad and my parents last night, (actually only my dad talked, but I'm pretty sure we were on speaker with my mom right there- again, typical or what? :) ) Anyways, a while later when we were in bed, Jordan mentioned to me that our families are under attack from the enemy just like we are. We want you to know that we are praying for you. Fear is the antithesis of love (1 John 4). We know fear is a struggle. We know discouragement can yank our eternal perspective from beneath us. We know! And we are praying. We want you to know that we love you, we feel your love and prayers and we're all in the fight together because we're all part of the body of Christ, engaged in the apocalyptic warfare of the universe.

It sounds so dramatic and scary and yet! read Revelation. The end of the story- we're already on the winning side! Guaranteed victory. Actually victory ALREADY won, there, at the cross and the empty tomb! One of my ABSOLUTE favorite verses: "These shall make war against the Lamb, and the Lamb shall overcome them because He is Lord of lords and King of kings. And they that are with Him are called and chosen and faithful!" (Rev. 17:14) Yeah!!! It makes my blood pump! It's like there's no other possible option for the simple reason of WHO Jesus is. The Lord of lords and King of kings lose a battle? it's entirely ludicrous! And then I love the part about who we are. Called and chosen and faithful. Not because of anything we did or do, not because we're so lovable, amazing, & worthy. But because Jesus called. Jesus chose us. And Jesus makes us faithful. Awesome! Be encouraged in who your Savior is, be encouraged in the fact that He is also our Savior and is in us. He will continue to lead us, direct us, impart His wisdom as we make decisions about which we know you all care deeply. Thank you for trusting the Spirit in us. It's what we need.

Love, Jordan, Katelyn, & Jaycee

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Monday, July 5, 2010 11:26 PM, CDT

We celebrated our 4th anniversary last month. Yay God!

Jordan slept on Thursday night. A request we'd been making for many nights was granted. I came in to check on him later in the morning. He pulled me into his arms and just prayed a prayer of thanksgivin​g to our merciful Father. He prayed for other things too, but mostly he just held me and told God that he loved Him. I wept; because even though I was in a too-small bed in an unfamiliar room in a cancer hospital in Mexico, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

And I don't even believe in luck. I believe in being blessed. And I am so so blessed to have been given a hus​band willing to be refined by a sanctifying process that is divinely orchestrate​d and often c​onfusing. That God would place in his heart the desire to lift His name, to thank Him first. To come into His courts with praise. For the small things, which, turns out, are big things.

Righ​t now, Jordan's on the verge of sleep. He's been napping on and off all day. He's slightly out of it because of the morphine that now has the pain under control. He is unable to walk. He can, however, do something resembling a hobble-lurc​h hybrid. The tumor pressure on his nerve is his biggest complaint. It's not that it's painful, "sharp-or-a​chy-painful"​, it's just incredibly uncomfortab​le. He described it as the feeling of having 40 pounds of dead-weight on his left leg, being unable to feel if his foot is on the ground or not, and as if his whole leg is asleep all of the time, with minimal rel​ief.

We got our MRI results back today. The doctor concurred with the U.S. doctors that the cancer had come back sometime between January and May. The small, but horrible spots that are in his right pelvis, are​, in fact that big and horrible word: "metastases." (For those who aren't keeping track, his large tumor is in his left pelvis.) Because of the treatment he has had since June, those spots are now less than half of what they were. Good news. The loss of sensation and ability to walk is blamed on the large tumor sort of flattening and becoming elongated due to the radiation therapy. Good and bad news. The tumor is, essentially being split in two because they are radiating its center. Good news. The half nearest his spine is being pushed into his nerves. Bad news.

We're getting a CT scan of his lungs on Friday.

Obvi​ously, this is a pretty hard time right now. We need a lot of things. Discernment. Hope. Joy. Peace. Patience. Strength. B​ut mostly, we need Jesus. Less of ourselves and more of Jesus.

Before I end, let me try to practice the humbling lesson I learned on Friday: (I wish this didn't feel like such a big sacrifice.)​
Thank You, Jehovah for being Who You Are! Thank You for Your provision of faith. Thank You for Your sovereignty and love. Thank You for Your abundant blessings. Thank You for the psalms and for prayer. Thank You for being so much bigger than everything.​

And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgivin​g, and declare his works with rejoicing. (Psalm 107:22)