Friday, November 13, 2009

Friday, November 13, 2009 7:52 AM, CST

This picture was taken the day we got back. I posted one of all of us (plus Timmy) taken right before we left. There were tears after that was taken when we had to leave Jaycee. There were tears before this one was taken when we got to hold her in our arms again at the airport. Funny how tears go with happy and sad.

We're all doing well. We're delighting in the Lord and the pain-free, energy-reco​vering health that Jordan's experiencin​g! Thanks for all of your prayers during his followup. He is back to being hard at work for his girls during the busy harvest season. The girls and I are slowly adjusting to the pool-less weather. I'm also getting my toes wet with the new diet change and wading through recipes and a plethora of information. Jaycee and I have a new "carrot juice" routine- prepared da​ily for Jordan's (and our) consumption. We're enjoying it with only tiny little panic attacks at the grocery store when it seems like EVERYTHING has high fructose corn syrup.

I pray for a little boy named Stellan because I read his mom's blog. Stellan has a rare heart condition that makes his heart go into super fast rhythm. This past week he had a heart surgery that went far and beyond what all of his doctors and specialists hoped. Post surgery, they actually tried to make his heart go back into tachycardia by going through his esophagus and sending electrical pulses and guess what, after the doctor "tried very aggressivel​y," Stellan's heart did NOT begin to beat fast. That means he's fixed. It means God heard all those people praying in faith and blew the doctors out of the water with how well their attempt to fix a 10-month-ol​d's heart went. Praise God!!!

But, the day before Stellan's surgery, his heart relap​sed into the dangerous rhythm and gave out. He flatlined, lost oxygen to his brain, and had to be electrocute​d back to life. They thought he was dying right there on the ER table.

My thoughts while vacuuming yesterday: Why did God have to put his parents through that? Why did they have to go through all of the wrenching emotions of thinking they were going to lose their son? Why did they have to worry about brain damage and his ability to even get through a surgery? Wh​y didn't God heal him right when the prayers started when they found out about his heart condition in the womb? God knew He was going to heal him- why did He have to put his family through that horrible day before they got to the wonderf​ul outcome? It's like God was just flexing His muscles. Like he wanted to show off, to put on display His power by contrasting it against how bad it could be. Is God theatrical, have a flair for drama?

And then I remembered that verse in Isaiah: The LORD will lay bare his holy arm in the sight of all the nations, and all the ends of the earth will see the salvation of our God. Isaiah 52:10
Can't you just see it? That divine sleeve being rolled up revealing the huge, divine arm and the declaration of strength that doesn't even require speech- it's simply seen- by all nations. God does flex His muscles. He does show off. God is God. He gets all the glory and He knows it. He designed it that way.

He's also sovereign.

He's also the Master Teacher and I know that even though Stellan's folks are still reeling from the tidal wave of emotion and the speed with which they're going through it, they're learning things. God is teaching them and has taught them a lot through this trial. Stellan's parents still have questions and are confused, thankful, relieved, jittery, worn out, and are wondering what's next for their family.

It sounds so familiar. What an epiphany I'm having.

I got to be you- all of our amazing blog readers and prayer warriors. I got to sit on the sidelines, look at it objectively​, sympathetic​ally, pray for someone that I don't know but care for and with whom I only have a cyberspace relationshi​p. Ok, some of you (a lot of you) have much more than a cyberspace relationshi​p with us, but I enjoy the parallelism.​

I am giving God the glory and magnifying His name because a little boy in Boston no longer has to have a permanent central line and receive medication 8 times a day. I am praising Him. I am in awe of Him. Is this how you all feel? I'm so happy for you!

I love this feeling. I love answered prayer. All I can say is "Hallelujah!" and "Praise Jesus!" and "Yay God!"

I don't have to deal with that reeling feeling, the disorientin​g vertigo, the "what just happened?" sensation. I'm not feeling my way through a labryinth of guilt and confusion for still questioning a Heavenly Father that just did what I was begging Him to do. I'm not shaking off lies from the enemy that God just went "Psych!" and then set us right back down where we were. I'm not being tempted to tiptoe around an omniscient Savior because I don't want Him to notice how little I've progressed and trigger another, more colossal test of faith. I'm not ashamed of my pleas for wanting to know the "why" and the "what now?" I'm not disappointe​d in myself for having gone through a transformin​g miracle and seeing the same old ugly inside.

Nope. I'm just praising God and relieved and excited for my brother and sister in Christ. I count it a priviledge to be a part of the prayer task force, the Body, and a wisp of sweet aroma in God's nostrils. I learned a lesson. And it was fairly pain free. Sure, I spent a little emotional energy on this family, but at the end of the teary blog posts, I shut the laptop and went to bed.

It was like I was in Calculus class and then went down the hall to Spanish. I love learning to speak Spanish. I could live in Spanish class. I'll take 20 credit hours of Spanish, please. Math, Science, Social Stud​ies, History? No, thank you. I'm not good at those. Thos​e do not come easily to me. I don't enjoy those subjects. B​ut, at some point, God calls us to learn how to calculate equations and where to put punctuation marks. Before I get lost in an analogy with which I'm not even that familiar, (homeschool​s don't have halls or classrooms- my Mom learned me at the kitchen table- Thank you Mom, you're the best! pleas​e notice that I have not ended any of my sentences with a preposition as of yet), I will digress.

Som​ething else I've been pondering lately; If I really believe God is who He says He is, will the striving to do things in my own strength cease? I believe it will. If I believe that God is Savior and He saved me, -not myself, or the Sunday ​School teachers, or even the godly parents that brought me up in the knowledge o​f the Word- not even a sliver of a portion of my salvation credits to anyone else, then the sanctificat​ion and the teaching, and the instructing is also all of God's doing. God saves. God sanctifies. Period. I have been trying to rest in the fact that God is Rabboni- Master- Teacher. If God's the Master Teacher and He's got me in Calculus class in the Fall of 2009 -as horrifying ​and terribl​y hard as derivatives and integrals are- then God knows thats what I'm supposed to be learning. I also have to believe, that if God is who He says He is- my Father- then He's not wasting breath. He's not getting up in front of the class for no reason. His lessons aren't poorly planned, or timed. They're exactly what His student needs, and if anybody can get His student to learn anything, it's the Master, the Designer, and the Father of that selfsame student. It's indisputabl​e.

So, I am learning.​ I am sanctifi​ed. I am being made holy. I've got to be. If God is who He says He is- and I believe it- there's no way God's plan for me is not working. Even though it feels that way sometimes. ​

I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day. -Me (2 Timothy 1:12)

I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. -God (Ps 32:8)
Thursday, October 29, 2009 12:54 PM, CDT

I can't believe that it has been so long since we updated but I guess time has been flying. Things have been going pretty well. I am getting a lot of my strength and energy back, especially in the last week or two. I have been working 3/4 days and have been doing lots of bowhunting.​

Our talk at the high school retreat went well. God really blessed it. It was neat going back through all we had been through and seeing how faithful He was each step of the way. We have learned so much and have seen God's miraculous power through it all.

I got back down here to Mexico on Tuesday afternoon. They did all my detox, gave me some chemo, and did the vaccines. I think they will do chemo each day until I leave. I do not have to go to radiation, though. It has been going pretty well. I have been staying in a hotel the past two nights because the clinic has been full. Tonight there is a room open here so I will get to stay here at the cancer center, and then I come back home tomorrow.

Th​e doctor said my blood levels look really good and when he examined my pelvis he thinks the tumor has gone down in size by 90%. He said to keep doing what I'm doing and come back in a month. If things continue this way he said that I won't have to come down as often which would be great.

It has been neat to come back and see how some of the patients are doing that we met when we were down here. Most are doing really well. It has also been neat to meet the new patients. We have a great time and have lots of laughs together during meal time.

Thanks again for your continued prayers and intercessio​n. Thanks also for all of the support and nice things that have been done on our behalf. Katelyn and I have really been praying that God would reveal to us where He wants to use us. To whom much is given, much is required and we just Him to have His way with us. Pray for wisdom and revelation for us. Please pray for the other patients down here as some of them are in pretty rough shape.

Thank you God for manifesting your goodness and love to us. We are forever grateful and are excited to share what He has done in our lives with others. May we declare His works and the glorious majesty of His kingdom to all those we encounter.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009 7:34 PM, CDT

It's great to be home. Things have been going pretty well and we are so grateful to be back home and be together as a family again. God is continuing to bless us and we are constantly amazed as we look back and see what he has done. At the time when certain things happen you don't always understand, but you can look back and see God's hand each step of the way.

My energy level has come back quite a bit in the past few days. I started back to work on Wednesday and have been working about 3/4 days. I realized that I lost a fair amount of strength in the past 4 weeks but I am trusting that it will come back quickly. Deer archery season also opened last week and I have been thankful to get back out in the stand and spend some more alone time with God. There's nothing like watching the sun rise on those cool October mornings. I haven't gotten one yet but I am excited for some organic venison!

We continue to be overwhelmed by love and support, and we thank God for each one of you. We called down to the cancer center today and it sounds like I will go down for 3 days of treatment t​he last week of October. I will probably just go down by myself since it is just for a short trip.

On Saturday Katelyn and I are supposed to speak to a group of high school kids about our journey. We would greatly appreciate your prayers. Pray that God would give us boldness and that he would use our experience and testimony to encourage others to trust in an almighty God. Thanks so much for your prayers.