Friday, July 9, 2010

Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, ... the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.
...What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?

I was by the pool with my Bible. There's been a lot of talk about Job recently around here. I figured it was a good thing to go back and re-read the book. I had just got to chapter 4, with the above passages having really spoken to me when Dr. Rubio approached me.

It was the last thing I wanted to hear. It was the worst news possible. The only remarkable thing was that I didn't dissolve into tears- then.

The cancer has taken over Jordan's lungs again. It's really bad.

I know I'm risking 'too personal' here, but I don't have the stamina to write an original post tonight. This is a portion of an e-mail to our family sent yesterday. It is our heart right now.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.

On Tuesday, we got to be ministered to by a brother in Christ that occasionally comes down to this clinic from Los Angeles. He's a minister/PhD in integrated medicine, very passionate about the Word and Spirit. It was truly a divine appointment; he prayed for us, prophesied into our lives and we had amazing fellowship in the Spirit! As we were praying, I remembered Jill's prayer request for breakthrough and it was a breakthrough into our discouragement and doubt. He spoke to us about unforgiveness and told us to ask God to reveal anything in the way of His throne, he challenged us to give our firstfruits to the Lord, including our time. He mentioned how coming into his presence with praise and thanksgiving is so key. We've been blessed to have had amazing, anointed prayer & worship time these past 2 mornings together. Confessing and forsaking sin, releasing those who have wronged us, thanking God for everything, even the hard things. Claiming promises in the name of Jesus, binding demonic influence and releasing hope, strength, life, peace, & miraculous healing. (Mat 16:19)

We're really learning a whole lot more than we ever wanted to about the truth of Ephesians 6, how we don't wrestle against flesh and blood but against principalities, powers, rulers of darkness, & spiritual wickedness. The battle down here has been intense, but, (also in Eph 6), we're well equipped for it. After that incredibly uplifting time of prayer with Mr. Warren, that night, Jordan was in so much pain, it hurt him when I crawled up on the bed. He could feel it in his leg and he was rocking back and forth on all fours crying out. Can anyone think of anything more discouraging and disheartening? That was the night he was supposed to go down to 2 fentanyl patches, but quite obviously, couldn't. I knew it was a satanic counterattack & we needed to pray, and we did.

God's really been changing our prayer language. Our spiritual eyes are slowly being opened and we're being given more confidence in the power & authority of the Spirit that indwells us. Jordan ended up having a fairly marginal night that night but he will testify that it was infused with something miraculous: a peace that passes understanding, a knowledge of the fact the God in him was enabling him to get through the discomfort. He was aware of his body's groanings, but he was MORE aware of the divine peace that rested on him throughout the entire night, getting him through. Praise God!

We also got to talk on the phone with both Mom & Dad and my parents last night, (actually only my dad talked, but I'm pretty sure we were on speaker with my mom right there- again, typical or what? :) ) Anyways, a while later when we were in bed, Jordan mentioned to me that our families are under attack from the enemy just like we are. We want you to know that we are praying for you. Fear is the antithesis of love (1 John 4). We know fear is a struggle. We know discouragement can yank our eternal perspective from beneath us. We know! And we are praying. We want you to know that we love you, we feel your love and prayers and we're all in the fight together because we're all part of the body of Christ, engaged in the apocalyptic warfare of the universe.

It sounds so dramatic and scary and yet! read Revelation. The end of the story- we're already on the winning side! Guaranteed victory. Actually victory ALREADY won, there, at the cross and the empty tomb! One of my ABSOLUTE favorite verses: "These shall make war against the Lamb, and the Lamb shall overcome them because He is Lord of lords and King of kings. And they that are with Him are called and chosen and faithful!" (Rev. 17:14) Yeah!!! It makes my blood pump! It's like there's no other possible option for the simple reason of WHO Jesus is. The Lord of lords and King of kings lose a battle? it's entirely ludicrous! And then I love the part about who we are. Called and chosen and faithful. Not because of anything we did or do, not because we're so lovable, amazing, & worthy. But because Jesus called. Jesus chose us. And Jesus makes us faithful. Awesome! Be encouraged in who your Savior is, be encouraged in the fact that He is also our Savior and is in us. He will continue to lead us, direct us, impart His wisdom as we make decisions about which we know you all care deeply. Thank you for trusting the Spirit in us. It's what we need.

Love, Jordan, Katelyn, & Jaycee


Erin (and Dusty) said...

praying for you!

Smileyface said...

Standing with you in prayer.
"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

Kenj said...

Crying out in faith before our Lord! We love you guys. ~Kristen & Benj Hodel
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Heb 4:16